


So this is heaven?

by ShingekiNoHomo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Lots Of Sad, M/M, dont judge me this is my first fanfic ok, im so sorry, im still sorry, trigger warning: suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShingekiNoHomo/pseuds/ShingekiNoHomo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes I wondered if it was always suppose to be like this, or if it was just god's punishment on us for our selfishness and trying to claim a world that wasn't rightfully ours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So this is heaven?

Sometimes I wondered if it was always suppose to be like this, or if it was just god's punishment on us for our selfishness and trying to claim a world that wasn't rightfully ours. 

But this was just cruel.

I had to watch as all my comrades died, one after another.

I watched Levi cradle Erwin in his arms. Erwin had lost an arm and was slowly and painfully dying. Levi couldn't let his lover die like this though, I watched him as he drew his swords and kissed Erwin one last time before placing their chests together and then they were gone. They still laid there in each others arms though, lifeless. 

Mikasa was not with us when she was killed, but I walked past her corpse earlier. It was horrific. She was covered in blood and her neck was twisted. She laid against a tree that had a dried blood streak coming down until you saw her. Even though it looked as if she was in a lot of pain she still had that calm expression, except her eyes were closed. 

Jean was not far after Mikasa, just about a half a mile after. He was a lot different though. He was leaning against a log, tears were fresh down his cheeks and you could tell he died not to long ago. His sword was cut into his gut and out his back. His eyes were opened though, so I walked up and used left hand to close his eyes. I knew he was in peace now though, he could finally see Marco again. 

Reiner and Bert were killed as well, they were shot down by Levi's squad. Sasha was killed by falling out of the tree she was in, I wasn't there but I got news that her 3D maneuver gear failed at last moment.

Connie, Christa, Ymir, Hanji, all of them. They were all dead.

And I watched as Eren died again, this time for real though. I could've looked away but somehow I couldn't get my eyes to look away from my bloody friend as he reached out for me, his eyes filled with fear. He was stepped on by a 10 meter titan. The blood had gotten all over me, but this wasn't the blood of a titan that I had killed. it wasn't successful and something to cheer over. It was the blood of my best friend and my lover. I can still see the pain on his face when he looked up, seeing the titans foot. He tried to reach out for me, even though he knew it would be too late, before he was killed. My arm was stepped on as well, being pulled off my horse and feeling my right arm rip right off my shoulder. 

I deserved it though, because he died trying to save me.. again. I really wish it killed me instead of him this time though. 

My sword that had left was dull and was proved worthless to fight with, but that wasn't what this sword was for. Humanity had won against the titans that day, but the titans has won as well.  
All there was left was me, but that won't be for long.

Maybe this is how God wants it though.

I felt my knees crush up against the soft sand, I traveled here for Eren. He wasn't able to see it but I can tell him now when I see him in heaven, or wherever it is that we go when we all pass.

I smiled, the tears burning my eyes as I felt the cool water under and around my legs. I used my left arm to drop the sword beside me and push my blonde hair, that still have some dried blood in it, out of the way, letting myself look clearly at the site before. 

"Eren, I'm here. Its's the ocean. It's just as beautiful as you though and hoped, I'll tell you all about it real soon." I said to myself, a smile rested on my lips. 

I stayed there, admiring the ocean and it's beauty before grabbing the sword I had dropped in the sand. I had time to mouth a 'goodbye' to the world that had been destroyed before it all went black. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I knew I was crying again, I felt alone. It was so dark as I held onto myself. The coldness of being alone surrounded me. 

So this was heaven? It didn't feel like it. It was suppose to be a happy place to see the ones you loved right?

It was what felt like a thousand years of loneliness, darkness, pain, and a lot of crying before I heard a familiar voice calling out my name. I didn't believe myself at first and I told myself that it was just my imagination and that I was alone, I would always be alone. It happened again though.

I lifted up my head, it was still dark though, but I felt arms wrap around me, and a sobbing voice coming after it. He repeated my name over and over, telling me he loved me and missed me. Explaining how they all were looking for me. He was still sobbing though, I knew I was too. These were different though, they were tears of joy and relief. It had been awhile since I felt those emotions and it was kind of overwhelming.

After a while of being held onto tightly, the sobbing finally stopped, tears still left our eyes though, and felt my head being gently pushed up and his hand resting on my cheek. I felt the tears in my eyes again as I heard just a one thing escape Eren's mouth.

"Open your eyes, Armin."

**Author's Note:**

> sits down and screams  
> this is my first posted fanfic  
> im gomen


End file.
